I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
