She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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