Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
