Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
