Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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