he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
