awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
