I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
