He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
