Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
