Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
