his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
