he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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