normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she looked like the before picture.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
