that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
