well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
