bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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