I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
