is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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