he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
