she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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