Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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