You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
