If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
