I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize