I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
