I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
