yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
