At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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