I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
