I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
