I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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