I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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