She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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