i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need a beard to bite.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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