Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
