You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
