So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
