You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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