piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
