I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well I just put wine in my tea
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
