Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
