you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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