the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
