ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
