Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
