How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
