His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
