Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
