So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize