I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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