No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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