And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
