THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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