I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
