its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
