Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
