I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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