my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
