Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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